The Worlds Worst Types of Wedding Guests

The World's WORST Wedding Guests...
Weddings are blissful occasions. The love and romance, the feast fit for a king and queen, the flowers, the dancing and all of the family gathered together in one room, drinking excessively. All of BOTH your families. Wait a minute… what are we talking about?! Weddings are awful! Is there any hope….?
Well, those are two pretty extreme viewpoints juxtaposed to illustrate a serious point that lies somewhere between: SOME aspects of weddings are POTENTIALLY awful. The biggest danger lies in the fact that you’re bringing several threads of your life together, with your work colleagues, family members (including soon-to-be in-laws), casual and best friends.

Once that sort of mix is created, it’s very much out of your hands and will develop inde­pen­dently. Happily, it usually works out more or less alright, with one or two awkward moments that are funny the next day. Sometimes it ends up in chaos, with tears, trifle and tantrums all being liberally spattered around. If it’s your wedding, then we sympathise deeply. If it’s somebody else’s wedding, then all you can do is sit back and hope they don't involve you. While you’re sitting back, why not see how many you can spot from our stock list of WORST WEDDING GUESTS…?
The Drunk
They celebrated in the morning with Bucks Fizz. They celebrated when the bride revealed her dress, guzzling what was left of the Drambuie from last Christmas. And they celebrated the fact that they were still conscious by necking the cooking sherry. Now it’s getting late, the bartender has refused to serve them another triple gin and the argument is building to a screaming, yet slurring, level. Do NOT get involved.
The Drunk
The always the bridsmaid
She’s a perfectly lovely, intelligent, pretty girl. She’s such a good friend to so many people that she attends a wedding a month. If another bridesmaid looks like catching the bouquet, then that bridesmaid may well get rugby-tackled out of the way by our tragic heroine. The Always-the-Bridesmaid never quite seems to keep, or even get, a man. She is on the verge of tears. Do NOT get involved.
The always the bridesmaid
The worlds greatest dancer
An uncle (for some reason it’s always an uncle) whose last time on a dance floor was before the bride was born suddenly rediscovers his lost self. The high emotion, meaningful lyrics and utterly beautiful musicianship of such songs as ‘Come on Eileen’, ‘Love is in the Air’, ‘Feelin’ Hot Hot Hot’, ‘Yes Sir, I can Boogie’ and, inexpli­cably, ‘So Macho’, drives Uncle to perform ‘dance moves’ unlike any that you’ve ever seen before, unless you happen to have witnessed someone executed by electric chair. ‘(I’ve Had the) Time of My Life’ from the movie Dirty Dancing starts to play, those unmistakable first few notes and lyrics. Uncle looks round wildly for a partner. Do NOT get involved.
The worlds greatest dancer
Children after 8pm
They’ve tried to be good all day, sitting around watching dull grownups dress up in stupid clothes and say boring things. They have tolerated admonitions all day: keep your clothes clean, don’t pull your tongue at the vicar, say hello to the pretty bride. Now it’s getting dark, all of the grownups are drunk and the normal rules of the game are suspended. Cue excessively loud and boisterous ‘games’ which amount to little more than vandalism and food fights. Little Benjamin has just slapped his younger sister Clarissa directly across the face, safe in the knowledge that his parents are otherwise engaged. Clarissa, in that moment before she starts to scream blue murder, makes eye contact with you to see if you will reprimand Benjamin. Do NOT get involved.
The most reliably fun thing about weddings is, quite frankly, the parties that precede it. Just you and your mates, with none of the world’s worst wedding guests. So make the next stag or hen night a real one to remember, just in case the wedding is one to forget. Book it with us and you’re guaranteed a good time.
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