How to Be the Best Maid of Honour

How to: Be the Perfect Maid of Honour

If you are reading this, then you must have been chosen by the bride to be her maid of honour. If that’s the case, then congra­tula­tions!

As soon as you have been chosen as maid of honour, your role and duties pretty much start from there. Since the bride will have selected her wedding party at the very start of her planning. Of course, we understand how stressful it can be being the maid of honour as there can be a lot of pressure put on you. But to keep your life and the bride-to-be’s life as stress-free as possible throughout the planning, we have put together a list of essential maid of honour duties.

20 Maid of Honour Duties

1. Talk to the bride about what she wants you to do/help with

If you are confused or stressed with what jobs and respon­sibi­lities you think you may have as a maid of honour, imagine how the bride-to-be feels! First things first, before you rush into things, we suggest sitting down with the bride and talking through everything she might want you to do or help with. This way, you will both start by being on the same page and have a mutual understanding of how things will go.

2. Be the brides right hand woman

Throughout the planning process, you will need to be there for the bride no matter what. She will be happy to know that you will always be there for her when she needs a helping hand, whether it be with writing out the invitations or deciding who to invite on the weekend. Even something as simple as deciding whether you want feather boas at the celebrations! It’s important to ensure the bride knows who she can rely on when she needs some help or advice. Remember to consider how to include children in a marriage service if there are children at the wedding.

3. Make planning checklists with her

Since you’re her right-hand woman, you want to make sure you make this whole experience as stress-free as possible. And that can be done by making checklists, getting a folder together and some paper and coloured pens and making an evening of it! Split up the checklists into different sections, for example, one for everything to do with the venue, one for the dresses, one for the guests, etc. Before you know it, you will both feel a whole lot more organised, and planning will feel a little more bearable.

4. Be enthusiastic as well as assertive

Even if weddings aren’t really your thing, since you’re the maid of honour, you will need to be enthusiastic when it comes to discussing different parts of the planning process. You want to be the voice of reason between the bride’s ideas. But as well as being enthusiastic, you also need to be assertive. The bride has given you this position because she trusts your judgement on things, so make sure you are honest with her about things like picking out dresses.

5. Attend all Wedding Appointments

You will probably be surprised at the amount of wedding appointments there are for the bride to attend. And you need to make sure you’re there to support her on the appointments she wants you to be there for. These could be dress fittings, dress shopping, or venue seeking; you get the idea. Most of the time, brides love having their maid of honour and bridesmaids there to give their opinions on things like dresses and accessories.

6. Be the Bridesmaids Go-to

Since you are the maid of honour, you are, in a way, classed as the head bridesmaid too… and it’s your job to be the bridesmaid's go-to about anything to do with the wedding. Since there is so much that the bride-to-be already has to sort and organise, it is your job to take the things like this off her hands. You can arrange for all the bridesmaids to meet properly before the big day, a get-together to plan the hen party and even an evening where you all try on your dresses.

7. Always Make Time for the Bride

You may think that the bride is getting a little bit stressed and flustered about all of the preparation that she needs to do. Which is why it is then important for you to always make time for the bride. The last thing she needs is to feel like she is pestering you. So make sure your always sounding interested in and asking if she ever needs a helping hand to make things easier for her. Trust us, she will definitely appreciate it.

8. Organise an Amazing Hen Party

Probably one of the most important aspects if you want to give the bride a break from all the planning stresses. Let her make some memories with all her nearest and dearest as you organise an amazing party for her. If you need some ideas and inspiration, we have 100s of amazing hen party activities for you to browse that are available across 65+ hen party locations in the UK and abroad!

9. The Maid of DIY

When it comes to planning, you will find the bride trying to save some money in different ways. With this being said, you may find yourselves on the living room floor at 2am with a bottle of wine, false flowers, a lot of glue and some candles, trying to create your own DIY centrepiece. If you do find yourself in this situation, you have to embrace it and give it your best shot. You never know… this could end up being your creative calling in life!

10. Keep the Bride Calm

It’s almost a given that planning comes with plenty of stressful days and times when you don’t think you could plan anymore. So, being there for the bride-to-be throughout is vital. This also goes for on the wedding day; we’re sure she will be extremely nervous and a little bit panicked, so ensuring that she stays calm on the big day is an important thing that you will need to do.

11. Help the Bride get Ready on the Day

Although the bride may have hairdressers and makeup artists on the day to get her ready, for the most part, she will still need a helping hand with things like putting her shoes on, her veil in (if she has one) and someone who she trusts being there to answer the question “do I look okay?” for the fourth time in the day. Most people use the bridal suite as a room where the bridal party gets ready for the wedding.

12. Be the Maid of Honour ALL Day!

You may think once the bride and groom have said I do, that your job is over. But that is definitely not the case; there is so much that you can still do to ensure that their special day is as stress-free for them as possible, from standing with them to greet everyone at the reception to collect any of the wedding gifts that people don’t know where to put. An extremely important part of your job would be to ensure that the guest book is full of all the guests. Here are some amazing personalised guest book ideas.

13. The Communicator between the Bride and Groom on the Big Day

The night before and the morning of the big day, traditionally, the bride and groom don’t speak or see each other. If your bride wants to keep to tradition, it would be a good idea to be the communicator between the two… no matter if it’s a message they wish to send across or to double-check that the groom has a new pair of socks! The bride will feel at ease knowing you're helping her throughout the preparation.

14. Help keep things on Schedule

Things at a wedding can easily get overrun, especially because this is usually a time when family members from all over meet and have a catch-up. You are the person who is at hand to make sure that everything stays on schedule. You don’t want the bride to be stressing that everyone is going to be late for the 3-course meal or that the speeches haven’t happened when they should have.

16. Make sure the Bride is fuelled all day

Since this is the most important day of the bride’s life and the most special, it will probably mean she will forget to eat or drink anything! Especially if she is too busy speaking to family members she hasn’t seen for a while. It would be a nice gesture if, throughout the day and evening, you ensure she always has a drink and has had something to eat. Unless they have a 3-course meal planned, then you will be okay!

15. The Photo-Taker

Although the bride and groom will almost certainly have a professional photographer or videographer there throughout the day capturing photos and videos, it would still be useful if you did the same. Usually, with professional photos, you have to wait for them to be sent over, and if the bride and groom want to see some photos from their special day, they can from all the photos you had taken over the day.

18. Hit the Dancefloor

Nobody wants to be at a wedding where nobody is up on the dancefloor. So if it is looking that way it’s your job to hit the dancefloor. If you don’t want to go at it alone, grab a few of the bridesmaids and groomsmen and dance away. Usually, all it takes for everyone to get on the dancefloor is some good music and a few people already dancing, and you're good to go.

17. Bathroom Companion

Have you ever tried to go to the toilet in a wedding dress? It is an extremely difficult task and one that shouldn’t be tackled alone. So, with the maid of honour duties, you have also become the bride’s bathroom companion. That means following her to the toilet to ensure that you are there to undo and do up her dress before and after she goes to the loo - It’s what friends are for!

19. Collect any Items from the venue Post-Wedding

So the wedding is over, but you can still lend a helping hand to the bride. Usually, when it comes to the honeymoon, you only have a day or so to prepare after the wedding. Which is where you can come and help out by collecting things from the venue after the wedding. You could also help with anything she may need dry cleaning whilst she’s away! By helping the bride with things like this she has more time to prepare for her honeymoon.

20. Stock the Fridge

This is a nice and easy duty that the bride will definitely appreciate. Put some essentials in her fridge and cupboards that she might need as soon as she gets home from her honeymoon. Things like bread and milk are always a good idea. And if you wanted you could also get a bottle of bubbly for them to have as a final celebration together of being newlyweds.

How Do You Become The Perfect Maid of Honour?

See our list of 20 key steps to support your best friend into her next stage of life.

How to be the Perfect Maid of Honour

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