Mother In-Law Jokes

Taking a dig with a mother in law joke can always be a risk, but if you find the right one liner it might turn into a hilariously memorable moment!

Do you dare put in a mother in law joke in your groom speech at the wedding? Making jokes about the bride's mother is a controversial topic. However, when done correctly it can win you major brownie points! To save you a ton of time and trawling through the internet, we’ve collected a variety of funny jokes about mother in law that you would use in your wedding speech. We also have a list of amazing wedding jokes to keep the laughs going.

The Classic Jokes

There’s nothing quite like a classic one liner to get the wedding crowd laughing? Even if they’ve all heard it before, these jokes are a safe bet for some light laughter and giggling from family and friends.

1. Why did the mother-in-law bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house!
2. My mother-in-law told me she wants me to treat her like a queen. So I put her on a deck of cards and shuffled them.
3. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a vulture? The vulture waits until you're dead before picking your bones!
4. Why did the mother-in-law go to the beach with a shovel? She heard there was some heavy sand gossip.
5. My mother-in-law is so talented, she can make a mountain out of a molehill, even when there's no molehill.
6. How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer to criticize your lighting choices instead.
7. Why did the mother-in-law bring a tape measure to the family reunion? She wanted to see if anyone had grown on her nerves.
8. What's the best way to get along with your mother-in-law? Pretend you're invisible and she won't notice you.
9. My mother-in-law has a bumper sticker that says, "My child is an honor student. My son-in-law is still a work in progress."
10. Why did the mother-in-law wear a straitjacket to the family gathering? She wanted to keep her opinions under wraps.
11. I asked my mother-in-law if she had any regrets in life. She said, "Yes, my son-in-law."
12. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a UFO? People claim they've seen a UFO.
13. Why did the mother-in-law bring a magnifying glass to the family dinner? She wanted to scrutinize every detail of the meal.
14. My mother-in-law said she loves to travel. So I put her on a plane to nowhere.
15. What do you get when you cross a mother-in-law with a bulldog? Someone who won't let go of an argument.
16. Why did the mother-in-law bring a stopwatch to the conversation? She wanted to make sure she talked the longest.
17. My mother-in-law is like a GPS. She always finds a way to reroute the conversation back to herself.
18. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a T-Rex? The T-Rex had shorter arms and a better attitude.
19. Why did the mother-in-law bring a filing cabinet to the family gathering? She wanted to keep track of everyone's mistakes.
20. My mother-in-law told me I should treat her like a queen. So I sent her off to rule her own kingdom.
21. What do you call a mother-in-law who can balance a checkbook? A miracle worker.
22. Why did the mother-in-law bring a notepad to the family dinner? To take notes on all the ways she can criticize.
23. My mother-in-law said she's always right. I told her being left would be a refreshing change.
24. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
25. Why did the mother-in-law bring a map to the family vacation? She didn't trust anyone's navigation skills.
26. My mother-in-law said she's a master chef. I told her the smoke detector disagrees.
27. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a storm? You can wait out a storm and hope it passes.
28. Why did the mother-in-law bring a broom to the family gathering? To sweep upeveryone's good mood.
29. My mother-in-law asked me if I needed help with the dishes. I said, "No, thanks. I'd hate to ruin your perfect record of never washing a dish."
30. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a car alarm? The car alarm eventually stops.
31. Why did the mother-in-law bring a crossword puzzle to the family picnic? She wanted to find new ways to give clues.
32. My mother-in-law thinks she's a fashionista. I think she's a fashion disasta!
33. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a catfish? One is a scaly, bottom-dwelling creature. The other is a fish.
34. Why did the mother-in-law bring a checklist to the family event? To make sure no one deviated from her expectations.
35. My mother-in-law said I should embrace her like a sister. I told her I already have enough siblings.
36. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a vise? The vise eventually loosens its grip.
37. Why did the mother-in-law bring a camera to the family gathering? She wanted to capture evidence of your mistakes.
38. My mother-in-law claims to have a sixth sense. She always senses when I'm enjoying myself and promptly ruins it.
39. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a boomerang? A boomerang eventually comes back.
40. Why did the mother-in-law bring a dictionary to the conversation? To correct everyone's grammar and vocabulary.
41. My mother-in-law said she has the key to happiness. I asked if she could find the key to silence too.
42. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a black hole? The black hole eventually stops sucking.
43. Why did the mother-in-law bring a referee whistle to the family event? To officiate every argument.
44. My mother-in-law is like a broken record. She keeps repeating the same criticisms over and over.
45. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a GPS? The GPS eventually finds a way to your destination.
46. Why did the mother-in-law bring a scorecard to the family gathering? To keep track of everyone's faults.
47. My mother-in-law thinks she's a comedian. I think she missed her calling as a court jester.
48. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a time bomb? The time bomb eventually explodes and it's over.
49. Why did the mother-in-law bring a stopwatch to the family reunion? To make sure everyone's stories ran out of time.
50. My mother-in-law claims to have a photographic memory. I think it's more like a photographic filter that only highlights her complaints.

Why not take a look at our stag do and hen party activities whilst you're here?

Funny Short Story Mother in Law Jokes

57. The clock fell off the wall. If it did a minute sooner, it would have hit my mother-in-law. That clock was always slow!

58. I picked my mother-in-law up from the airport last night. Don’t blame me, those airport lounges are so dark.

59. My mother-in-law and I were happy for 20 years…then we met each other.

60. I agreed with my mother-in-law once and she took about 6 hours to recover. The doctors said it was a close one!

61. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was surprised, I never knew those things worked!

62. What does your MIL and turkey have in common? Seeing them once a year at Christmas is the perfect amount.

63. Why did the mother-in-law bring a tape recorder to the family gathering? She wanted to have an audio record of all the things she disagreed with.

64. My mother-in-law thinks she's a mind reader. I can't wait for her to start reading my mind and realize she's wrong.

65. What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a GPS? The GPS eventually realizes when it's wrong.

What are some Mother in Law Jokes to Avoid?

Of course, there is a whole host of mother in law jokes that should be avoided altogether, even if you are already familiar with each other. We are not responsible for what happens if you decide to use any of these mother-in-law jokes to avoid!

66. "My mother in law suffers from acute diabetes and hay fever... I always try to cheer her up with chocolate and flowers."

67. "Definition of mixed emotions: Seeing your mother in law drive over a cliff in your new car."

68. "Every time I’m with my mother-in-law, I wonder who’s running hell in her absence."

69. "I took my mother in law out today. I love being a sniper."

70. "Mother-in-law came for dinner and asked, "Why does your dog keep staring at me?' I said, 'Because you're using his plate.'"

If these jokes are for an upcoming wedding, you might also need a hand organising the stag do! We offer thousands of stag do activities that are fully-planned for you to make the last night of freedom one to truly remember.